my biggest regret in life is not living my life to the fullest potential to make regrets

loveyourchaos:

I have a lot of things that I want to tell you but you have to ask the right questions. 

i think one of the most painful things i can intentionally do to myself is read through our old conversations. they are in no way connected to feelings i still may or may not have, but it would just be nice to roughly relive what may have been the happiest i’ve ever been. and that’s the painful part about it, just knowing that i’ll never be able to experience it ever again.

i can’t keep pretending that i can get through this.

but if i’ve been struggling to get through an entire year after reaching what must be my all-time low, i should be able to make it out alive after the next few months. literally.

i can’t remember the last time i spent at least five minutes on facebook. and in the few minutes that i do spend on facebook, i get pissed off.

lol @ my life i just h8 every1

Stop spending time with the wrong people. Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

(Source: marcandangel.com, via colettecestchouette)

• i just said goodbye to my closet friend who’s moving 4,000 miles away tomorrow
• i lost a friend who has never really been a friend to me so i guess i haven’t really lost anything at all
• i lost another friend who i got along with so well and thought i could trust, but he ended up being a complete dick
• (yes, i basically lost three friends in one week)
• i’ve become a lot closer to someone after taking an unintentional two year “break” during sophomore year
• and her boyfriend who is seriously the most hilarious person i know
• (the three of us nicknamed ourselves ‘the three musketeers’ because we’re literally always together now)
• i see a potentially regained friendship of someone i completely despised this whole year after realizing that i really have no reason to despise her at all

overall, i’m happy. and i really do mean that. i have three months of senior year left and i’m just making the best out of it.

it’s like you try and try and try so hard to be happy but you always fall through. you spend less time alone, you smile more, you try new things, you let go of people who make you unhappy, you understand things that you’ve never been able to understand before, you appreciate the little things, you do everything you’re supposed to do, but you’re never satisfied.

• listening to my “wah” playlist (which consists of some of the most depressing songs known to man) on itunes
• not doing my homework
• not caring about not doing my homework
• wishing i could go to sleep and never wake up

oh you know, just the usual.

today may have been one of the loneliest days of my life. it was just one of those days where you knew it would be long and miserable from the second you woke up. praying tomorrow will be better.

100460:

the only way i can describe how i feel lately is “abandoned glass of water that has been sitting on a nightstand for well over two weeks”

(Source: buttfactory, via decemburrsuns)

so now that it’s officially no longer my birthday, can i complain about dumb shit that i’ll forget about by tomorrow morning or is it a little too soon…